My Late Wife
If there’s something which haunts me, it is visiting the graveyard of my late wife. But sometimes I have to do it; for instance, when there is an anniversary to commemorate her life each year. It has been five years since she passed away leaving me behind with two kids. Despite being considerably long since she left us, her memories still haunt me to date. Maybe it is because I might have played a role in the speedy death. Not that I would have loved to see her die, but my actions and decisions are directly involved in her fate.
If I had stood against the idea of procuring an abortion, she would be alive today. On the contrary, I embraced the idea and even financed it fully. This makes me a party to the evil disaster which claimed the life of my wife and left me to raise our children alone.
We already had two kids, a boy and a girl. Since the economy was not that good and we were facing many financial challenges, we were opposed to the idea of having another child. That meant that we plan our marriage. I don’t know what went wrong with the birth control pills that she was taking at that time, but I was astonished to find out that she was pregnant. We thus had to find a way of getting rid of the unborn baby. I vividly remember how I sat down with my wife and discussed about the issue. We decided that she under goes an abortion.
At that time, the fetus was in its early stages but we were facing financial constraints. We had to wait for several weeks to have the money ready. Finally when my financial position was favorable, it was time.
I never wanted to be there that day, therefore I dropped her at the private clinic where we had made arrangements with the physician who was to carry out the practice and proceeded to work. I had already paid the full amount needed.
While at work, I was nervous and couldn’t concentrate well. I felt that I had done a mistake. It was a terrible day for me. When the call came around midday, the day became a nightmare altogether. It was a call from the clinician. He sounded in a dispirited mood as he explained that something had gone awry.
The Nasty Predicament
I quickly rushed to the clinic to meet my wife in a critical condition. She had passed out and according to the physician; she had lost a lot of blood. We decided to transfer her to a better hospital but he never made it there. She died in my arms as we took her to another health center. I had to bribe the hospital staff who pronounced her dead so that word didn’t go around about what had happened. I did that to the morgue official too.
It really pained and to date haunts me. I’m usually very guilt about all that happened and feel so sorry for my wife. I wish I couldn’t have handled the matter in a more mature manner and accept the bundle of joy that God wanted to bless us with. I just wish I knew.