My Early Life

I can’t have any children. Not that I was born infertile, but because I procured several abortions. It was never a choice that I could have preferred but I had no better alternative. All this happened 15 years ago. And the series of 4 abortion practices all happened in a duration of 6 years.

After finishing high school, I didn’t score better grades to join college. Even if I did, I don’t think I could have joined one because of the impoverished state of the family that I hailed from. My dad was a habitual drunkard who had wasted all the resources that we had and my mum was a bar attendant. It is her who introduced me to the world of prostitution.

A Pervert Life

I was barely 18 then, when I joined my mum to work as a bar attendant too. The whole life was overwhelming especially meeting men who were moneyed and thus ended up being promised a better life; a life that I so much desired.

The first man who I met was well acquitted with my mum. He frequented the area of work and on befriending me too; he worked the way to my mum heart by showering her with gifts. Though married, the man would often sleep with me without the use of any protection.

Within the first three months of having sex with him, I was already pregnant. Since the man always told me how much he cared for me, I figured out that he would stand by my side through my pregnancy. But when he came to learn that I was pregnant, he avoided me like plague and told me to take care of my ‘business’. A co-worker, who was also a good friend, was the one who introduced me to the world of abortion. After reasoning out with me, I saw it paramount to ‘flush out’ the ‘illegitimate child’ as my friend referred to the unborn child. I did exactly that. Everything went as expected.

More ‘Flush Outs’

That single abortion was followed by a series of other in the years to come. All of them resulted from irresponsible sexual behavior. I slept with many men that I can remember some of them. Sometimes I was too drunk to know whom I went to bed with.

The last abortion I had was which posed serious problems. During the abortion, I experienced some complications which led to me having the uterus removed. I remember crying so hard to god when the doctor who performed the abortion broke the news that it won’t be possible for me to have any children again. I lamented of my behavior, but there was not much that I could do.

Today, though married, I can’t have children of my own and the thought of adopting a child doesn’t augur well with me. Maybe I will consider doing so in days to come. But how I wish I knew.